I was a very mischievous child and there are photos to prove it. In one, my little brother is sitting in his high chair laughing hysterically while I am pouring coffee grounds over his head. My mother told me the story of waking up from a nap with her eyes burning from the overpowering smell of Vicks. I had smeared it all over her face while she was sleeping.

One morning after my Grandma had gathered a bucket of eggs, she set them on the kitchen counter to take care of later. It wasn't long before I'd dragged a chair over to climb up to see what was in the bucket. Needless to say, by the time they checked on me, most of the eggs were broken.

One time I blamed the dog for little footprints that were found in some black glue on the kitchen floor when my Dad was laying new linoleum. It wasn't until weeks later when my Mom found where I'd hidden my little socks encrusted with the goop that they realized who the real culprit was.

As I grew I became more complacent and obedient, on the outside anyway. I was a model student and no one knew of my inside rebellious nature. It didn't take long for this inside rebellion to manifest into problems as a teen and young adult, and I was grounded quite often.

This rebellious nature caused me to make a lot of poor choices that led to years of sorrow and heartache. By the time I was 30-years-old, I was broken and felt so hopeless that I didn't think I would ever have another happy day in my life.

It was at that time that God found me. Actually, He had never lost me and was watching out for me all those long years. I know I would have been dead by then if He hadn't miraculously intervened in my life at times. But now He had my attention and showed me my need for Him.

As I turned my life over to the Lord, acknowledging that I'd messed up my life enough and needed Him to take over, Jesus began to change and transform me. I always loved my parents but apparently not enough to obey them. I still snuck around in rebellion and disobedience behind their backs doing things I knew I shouldn't do.

But I do love Jesus enough to obey Him, and I have crucified my rebellious nature enough so that I have no desire to do things I know I shouldn't do. This old nature fades away more and more as we give our whole hearts to Jesus and He gives us a new godly nature.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT) says that “anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” Now my inside nature matches what you see on the outside, and I have never been more hopeful and thankful for God rescuing me and changing me from the inside out.

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 482-5300.