Sunday, February twentieth was my deceased husband’s birthday. He was one of the funniest people I know. The following are some of my favorite comedic jokes he came up with on the spur of the …
Sunday, February twentieth was my deceased husband’s birthday. He was one of the funniest people I know. The following are some of my favorite comedic jokes he came up with on the spur of the moment.
He was a supervisor at Bendix Aeronautics in Teterboro N.J. and when the F word was being tossed around, he would say: “We’ve got no time for romance.” Such a perfect way to put it.
When he was at Newark Airport ready to pick me up from a flight from Florida, the plane was very late getting there and everyone was wondering why.
Jim was sitting next to and talking to a female taxi driver and when the plane finally landed they questioned the first passengers who were disembarking as to the reason. “They had to take a drunk off the plane”, was their explanation. Jim said to the woman, “Here I am here to pick up my wife and now I find out they had to take her off the plane.” That statement caused a crack-up by the woman cab driver. To me that was funnier than Henny Youngman’s joke- “Take my wife. Please.”
Once Jim and his friend went into New York City to get a clock from a relative’s apartment that was due to be sold. On the way home they stopped at a bar where there was a man playing a guitar and Jim’s friend got caught up in the music. After awhile, Jim wanted to leave so he went to the car and got the clock and brought it in to motion to his friend who was now singing along with the guitar player, that it was time to leave.
After he caught Pete’s eye and pointed to the clock, he hoped he got the message that it was time to go home. A customer who was seated at the bar, asked Jim what he was doing with that clock and Jim’s explanation was “I don’t like to wear a watch.”
I once chided Jim for being rude to a salesman who came to our door and he found the perfect way to get back at me for that. One Sunday morning as I was hurrying to get ready for church, Jim called to me from the living room, saying I had company, right before he walked out the door. Seated on the couch were two Jehovah’s Witnesses with all their printed materials to talk to me about. It was a challenge for me to figure out how to politely dismiss them.
Sometimes Jim was funny when he didn’t even plan to be. We once went to a farm where they had “pick your own” strawberries for sale. Jim and I both grabbed a box each and proceeded to pick. We met at the check-out to pay for them. The woman who was handling that, took one look at what Jim had in his box and turned to me and said I would have been better off to have him wait in the car. They were mostly green, moldy and squashed berries in his box and she didn’t even charge us for them.
Jim retired before I did and one day I found a note from him when I got home from work saying that he was going to pick up his friend Mike Clancy and then go to Maine. Since Mike lived on Long Island that was a little unusual. Shortly after that I got a call from Mike’s daughter who he lived with, telling me that the note from her dad was hard to read because it looked like he wrote that they were going to Maine. So I had to convince her that they really did go to Maine.
I miss Jim in a lot of ways but mostly for his sense of humor.
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