Now that we've decided who belongs in Congress and have dealt with the issues affecting red and blue states, maybe we can focus our attention on an equally pressing issue to our nation: Does it make more sense to buy four triple rolls of toilet paper that equal 12 single rolls or four double rolls that equal eight regular rolls?

Are ripples important? What about scented?

And has anyone checked the math to find out if 18 rolls of two-ply really comes out to 891 square feet?

There are a lot of you reading this right now, shaking your heads in disbelief, turning to your loved one or maybe stopping some stranger on the street and asking: "How does Barry know what I'm thinking?"

Do they have exit polling of this stuff?

Sure, there was a time when I wouldn't give a second thought about toilet paper.

That average American Joe on the john who uses more than 100 single rolls — about 21,000 sheets — each year. The kind of guy who could care less about plied or perfumed or rolled over or under, just as long as there was something within arm's reach. That is, until Bonnie asked me to pick some up on the way home.

I was no longer just a user. I was a consumer with a responsibility to purchase the best product at the best price. I was being asked to ignore the packages with pictures of cute little dogs and gentle bears to bring back to my family the item close to their heart. But a bit lower.

And what consumer-product focus group decided that the best way to sell toilet paper was to put an attractive bear or dog on the wrapper?

Let me tell you, some of the folks running for office would have my vote if they could lay out the economic advantages of buying 36 mega rolls of toilet paper. At least then I would have some kind of comeback to the folks who roll their eyes and start talking to themselves at the checkout counter.

Wheel up with three carts full of Friskies cat food and no one says a word. But buy the bulk TP?

I suppose it doesn't help when I hold my stomach, start moving from side to side and ask the young lady scanning the items if she could "hurry things up a bit!"

You might think this toilet paper stuff isn't that important right now, but put yourself in another place and time, and there's nothing more important on the planet.

More important than a national election?

How many times a year do you go into a voting booth? Less than half of Americans vote for president. Now, how many trips a day do you make to the bathroom?

You see a lot of cell phones out on toilet paper aisle. Folks making sure they're getting the right brand with the right ply.

Pick up hamburgers instead of hot dogs, buy split pea and not chicken noodle and forget the fabric softener and no one minds. But people are frantic about their toilet paper. They squeeze and smell, but size matters.

One brand said it offers 33 percent more sheets and 15 percent less packaging. What does that mean? I understand more sheets, but less packaging? Is that a good thing? Do I have to supply my own roll?

Every other package says, "new and improved."

What did they improve? It's still toilet paper. Are they including cup holders, roadside assistance and a GPS device?

If we're looking for a bipartisan issue that will unite this nation, bring those red and blue states together, knowing which toilet paper to buy might be a start.

Barry Lewis is a longtime journalist and author who lives with his wife Bonnie in the Town of Neversink. He can be reached at      barrylewisscdemocrat@gmail.com.