I think we can all agree that friendship is one of the most cherished and fundamental aspects of human existence, transcending boundaries of culture, age, and circumstance. At its core, being a friend is about meaningful connections, offering support and understanding, and celebrating the joys and challenges of life together. But when the foundation of trust and mutual respect degrades, so goes the friendship.

Sadly, I had to let go of a couple of friends over the past few years mostly due to the mishandling of differences in opinions. I’ll admit it was hard to walk away, but when communication became too volatile, I had to for my own sanity. It came down to a loss of trust that to me is necessary in any relationship, but in the silver lining lay a new and better understanding of what constitutes a true friend.

Beyond trust, empathy and compassion are essential ingredients in the recipe for a good batch of friends. People who listen well and seek to understand bring a deeper connection, and solidarity that transcends words alone. These individuals are rare, but when found are golden.

Reciprocity and mutual care are also part of the puzzle. I seek comfort and companionship from friends, and am willing to offer my time, energy, and emotional support in return. One-sidedness is always a drain and never lasts. I admit, it’s hard to be a true friend because it means showing up when it matters most, offering a shoulder to lean on and a listening ear without judgment or reservation when it’s most inconvenient.

Pretense and/or conformity have no place in my idea of friends. If I have to tiptoe around someone to the extent that I disappear, the friendship will eventually wither. True friends embrace each other’s differences, recognizing that it is our unique perspectives, backgrounds, and quirks that enrich our relationship and broaden our understanding of the world. Space for authenticity, vulnerability, and growth is essential. I welcome people who challenge me to expand my horizons, confront my fears, and become the best version of myself, offering a source of comfort but also a catalyst for transformation and self-discovery.

Friendship is not always easy or straightforward. It requires time, effort, and occasional compromise to thrive. Disagreements and conflicts are a natural part of human interaction, but what sets my true friends apart is their ability to navigate these challenges with honesty, respect, and a commitment to reconciliation.

Ultimately, the essence of friendship lies in the simple yet profound act of showing up for one another, day in and day out, through the highs and lows of life. Whether it’s sharing laughter and joy, lending a listening ear in times of sorrow, or offering a helping hand in times of need. To me, true friends provide a sense of belonging, connection, and purpose that enrich each other’s lives in immeasurable ways.

And so I conclude that being a friend is about more than just companionship; it’s about cultivating meaningful connections, offering unconditional support, and celebrating the beauty of human connection. By embodying qualities such as trust, empathy, reciprocity, acceptance, and resilience, there comes a promise to nurture something that will not only withstand the test of time, but also enrich each other’s existence in profound and lasting ways. I will always cherish the friends who walk by my side, and in return strive to be the kind of person who makes the world a brighter, kinder, and more compassionate place.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.