A group of researchers did the following fascinating experiment.

They approached several homeowners and asked them to put up a large sign in front of their lawns proclaiming: “Drive Carefully”. Only a small percent of homeowners were willing to do so. Then they approached other homeowners and asked them to put up a small sign instead of a large one, and, more importantly, they asked them to put it near their homes instead of the front lawn. Understandably, many of them didn’t have a problem to do so.

Here it becomes interesting. A while later they approached the second group again and asked them to put up the same large sign which they asked the first group to put up, and they asked them to put it in front of their lawns just like they asked the first group. Interestingly, in this instance most of them were willing to do so.

This research tells us a lot about identity and about the psychology of our actions. Since the second group already did something small, they were more likely to do something big in the same line of interest. Why is that so? Because after they did something, they started identifying themselves as being “a person who cares about driving carefully”. Once it was part of their self-image, they were willing to do the thing which is more difficult.

We do many actions throughout the year, and they all shape us in different ways. Sometimes actions are even conflicting with each other and sometimes they are not in line with our deepest feelings and values. These actions create a certain detachment or dissonance within us.

Our Creator has given us a special gift to do a yearly judgement and accounting of ourselves. It is the holiday called Rosh Hashanah – the Jewish new year. This year it comes out to be September 6 at sundown until the night of September 8.

Judgement is a heavy word and Rosh Hashanah is called days of awe, but there is a sweetness in awe which even love cannot match, as I’ll try to explain.

A business must do a yearly accounting, but it doesn’t do an accounting every day. Accounting and judgement are appropriate to do periodically not daily. Rosh Hashanah is the anniversary of the creation of Adam which was on the sixth day of creation. Every year on this day G-d makes an accounting of the world and of each individual. G-d judges the actions of the previous year and accordingly determines how the next year should be for the individual and for the world.

How do we get around this judgement? We all know our faults and the thought of judgement freezes our hearts. The answer is that if we do judgement on ourselves, we are spared from the judgement of G-d.

How do we do judgement on ourselves? This brings us back to the story which I started with. We do many things in our lives and all actions take hold of our identity as that research shows. Judgement on ourselves means that we ask ourselves, “Who am I?” “Which actions that I do really defines my identity and which actions don’t?” “How can I express more what I truly believe and value?” When we make such an accounting of ourselves, we start differentiating between actions. This is me and this is not. This I want to do and this not. This accounting redefines who we are.

When we do such an accounting, the actions which are not us and which we really don’t want to do become detached of our identity and the actions which we want to intensify and do more become more who we are. Once we make our own accounting, there is no need for G-d to send us reminders to improve. Then G-d will judge us favorably and with His infinite compassion.

We all love ourselves and negative actions and choices make us feel bad of ourselves. When we realign our identities, attach ourselves to the positive choices, and detach from the negative ones, we are freed at last. We reclaim ourselves and live the next year with an invigorated love for life, for the world, and for the Giver of it all!

Moshe Unger is a writer and entrepreneur. His column appears every second Friday in the Democrat.