Years ago while I was lamenting a great disappointment and questioning why God hadn't come through for me, He said, “Don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen the way you expect.”

Our disappointments in life have more to do with our expectations than with God's actions. We expect Him to do things in a certain way and at a specific time, and when He doesn't, then we feel that He has let us down. We get disappointed at Him when in reality God was not the problem. Our expectations were the problem.

God tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'”

God may give us a calling, a vision, a dream, a promise or some indication of what He desires to do in our lives or in other circumstances, but He doesn't usually give us all the details of how or when or where. He desires to lead us step by step, waiting for our obedience of each step before revealing the next.

Our problem is that we get impatient and want to know how it's all going to work out. Then we come up with our own scenarios of how that might be. We fill in the blanks and details, and think they sound like the perfect way to bring about our desire. We begin to believe that's the way God will do it, and raise our expectations to that end.

We are the ones who fool ourselves by expecting God to do things our way, and when He doesn't, we experience great disappointment. We fall into a spiral of doubt, unbelief, feeling like God has forsaken and abandoned us, into confusion and emotional turmoil. But God has promised to never leave us nor forsake us.

This feeling of disappointment with God can undermine our trust in God. We can begin to doubt His goodness to us and wonder if He really does know best. If we continue on this path, distrust can lead to resentment, bitterness, anger and becoming cynical towards God and others.

If we find ourselves in this place, we need to acknowledge our sin of expecting Him to do things our way and ask His forgiveness. Then it's time to start seeking God's perspective and how He sees our circumstances. We need to join God where He is at work in and around us instead of expecting Him to do things our way.

Even though it may not have gone as expected, that doesn't mean God is finished with what we are hoping for. It just means the time wasn't right, or we're not ready yet, or whatever reason God may have to hold off. We need to still trust and believe that His plans and purposes will prevail. We need to keep our focus upon Him and continue to seek the next step.

God's ways and plans for us are best, and His timing is always perfect. We need to accept and believe this, surrender all to Him, continue to wait upon His direction, and obey whatever He shows us to do. He is faithful to His promises. So don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen the way you expected. Wait on the Lord to see how He wants to do it.

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 482-5300.