Ahh, fall.

I'm no fan of winter. I hate scraping ice, shoveling snow and always feeling cold.

I enjoy summer because of the warm weather, but the humidity can be draining.

Spring's fine, but around here, it's too short. Seems like we go from snow to summer.

Then there's fall.

What's not to love about fall?

Leaves turn gorgeous colors and then you get to jump into a pile of them.

Folks hand you candy.

A crisp nip fills the air (but not as nippy as when Jack Frost nips at your nose).

Football is in overdrive.

Baseball is in crunch time.

You get to breathe in that first whiff of burning wood. And everything you wear smells like burning wood.

You drink apple cider and eat roasted pumpkin seeds. Or drink spiced pumpkin and eat an apple.

That's all nice. But I contend what's really best about fall is corduroy.

That wonderful fabric that sounds like a cricket having a panic attack.

Corduroy is the cloth of fall.

Or more specifically, the "cloth of the king," when workers in England discovered that the ribbed cotton fabric was tough yet lightweight. The name derives from "cord du roi," fashioned for the sporting use of the French royal court in the 1600s — although the connection to the king of France remains a bit ambiguous.

Don't worry, there's no test.

But I've done some extensive research over the last several months and found that in survey after survey, most people, like myself, say their favorite season is fall. Not even close. By more than 2-to-1 over spring.

I don't know if the wearing of corduroy came up in the surveys, but I say it's not a coincidence that folks love both the ribbed garment and fall.

(If you're keeping score at home, 3 percent of folks say they love winter. While I back free speech, I say we round up that 3 percent — you know who you are — and ship them in ice to Siberia. Or Plattsburgh.)

It kills me that on a cool summer day, I'll think nothing about pushing my head through my winter turtleneck. Yet I'll intentionally stay away from the wale.

You know, the wale.

The wale is the ribs or cords.

The size of corduroy wales ranges from 1.5 to 21 (i.e. the number of ridges per inch). The low numbers are referred to as wide wales and the higher numbers as fine or pinwales. Mid-ranges are the most commonly worn wales. The garment also affects the choice of wales. Understand?

But if you're like me, the appeal of corduroy has less to do with either its rich history or the fact that soft and velvety fabric is one of the marvels of everyday apparel.

Shirts, pants, hats, vests, jackets, suits, ties. Whatever.

There’s no greater test of mental fortitude than wearing new corduroy pants into a silent library, a church service, or a tense corporate meeting as your inner thighs announce your arrival.  You aren't walking; you are managing an acoustic crisis.

But you don’t care.

You wear corduroy because it makes you feel good and look good. Cozy, yet unpretentious. Like a fall afternoon full of pretty leaves that you can admire from afar and yet toss into the air, in your cords.

Enjoy the fall.

Feel the wale.