Our great-granddaughter, Sadie, is two and a half years old already! She’s had a lot of health problems to deal with in her short life, but she came through it all like a trooper. She is now a busy toddler, spending her days running, jumping, climbing, playing and eating.

Sadie enjoys visiting us, and many mornings asks her Mommy if they can go bye-bye to our house. So we’ve been seeing them more often. She has become quite comfortable with us and knows she is loved.

I was thinking about that one day. How does Sadie know she is loved? Just being around her fills us with joy, and I smile the whole time she is here. Whenever she looks at me, I’m smiling at her. A smile is a sign of approval and endearment.

Sadie is learning to talk, but I still don’t understand all her words. So when she speaks, I try to listen carefully to figure out what she’s trying to tell me. Also, I always speak softly and gently to her to show my love for her.

We spend most of Sadie’s visits just watching what she’s doing, as it can be pretty entertaining. We pay special attention to her, enjoying her antics, joining in her play, going for walks. We interact with her.

She has us wrapped around her little finger. When I hear, “Gramma, come on,” even if I don’t feel like getting up to see what she wants, I get up and go with her. I am willing to wait on her and meet her needs.

As I thought about all this, I realized that I don’t treat anyone else like this to show my love for them. Sadie gets special treatment that goes to no one else. Do I love her more than any other? No. But I saw that I have some changes to make.

I love my husband and family deeply, yet I take them for granted. I smile more at strangers and acquaintances than I do those I live with. They deserve to feel love and approval too. Instead of soft, gentle words, sometimes my words can be harsh or critical.

I don’t always pay attention to what others are doing, being distracted by my phone or the busyness of life. I don’t interact with them to try to spend time doing things together as much. I’m not as quick to listen carefully to hear their hearts, or to see how I can wait on them or meet a need. 

I don’t think I’m the only one in this situation. I think taking our loved ones for granted can be a common problem. We’ve lived together for so long and think we know everything there is to know about one another. We are busy with our own lives and cares and just don’t pay much attention any more.

But what we fail to see is the loneliness that can settle into our souls. There is still a longing for loving relationships and times spent together enjoying one another and interacting. Maybe it’s time to start looking at our loved ones differently.

It will take some effort and time, but it will be worth it when those we say we love can actually see what our love looks like and maybe be willing to return it to us. Let’s be the ones to take the first steps.

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 845-482-5300.