Beauty pageants. Remember them?

I know they’re still around, but they don’t seem to get the press they used to in days gone by. And for good reason. The aura of artificiality and silly standards set by Lord knows who became just too much to bear. If you think about it, if there has ever been a topic to parody, it is the American Beauty Pageant scene.

Your wish has come true and it has come true in glitzy, dazzling Technicolor brilliance on the Forestburgh Playhouse stage’s production of “Pageant the Musical”. Conceived by Robert Longbottom, the show did an Off Broadway stint in the 90’s and has all of the classic beauty pageant trademarks from cheesy, grinning MC to yes, a swim suit competition. And what better way to take total advantage of playing this parody to the ultimate over-the-top plateau (where it must be played) then to have men play the female contestants! And let me reiterate the phrase “Over-the-top”, because that is where this show goes.

I’ve never heard of this musical, let alone seen it, but I must state for the record that it is probably one of the craziest, off the wall things I’ve ever witnessed. And did I mention that there’s audience participation? Not just comments thrown back and forth, but members in the audience are the judges for the evening’s festivities. And that means there is probably a different winner at each performance.

This particular beauty pageant is put on by beauty products mega company Glamouresse. The crowned title of Miss Glamouresse will make that one lucky “lady” the spokesmodel of the company for a year. The contest takes the six contestants through the somewhat usual gauntlet of pageant rituals: the evening gown procession, doing a promotional spot for Glamouresse products, a display of artistic talent, the swim wear parade and even taking turns answering a Beauty Crisis Hotline.

As for the actual contestants, they represent different regions of the good ole US of A.

You have Miss Deep South (Andrew Cuccaro) whose passions are home economics and cancer research, Miss Texas (Caleb Funk) who can’t get over herself but will help out those in need of beauty advice, Miss Bible Belt (John Ryan Del Bosque) who dragged herself up from the depths of not being able to afford mascara, Miss West Coast (Anthony DaSilva) who has been reincarnated many times, Miss Industrial Northeast (Anthony Mejia) who works in a detention center but can roller skate and play the accordion and Miss Great Plains (Lee Price) who is a hefty cowgirl that can’t do steps in a gown but enjoys breeding livestock. All of the shenanigans are corralled and kept in some kind of order by the show’s MC Frankie Cavalier (Edward Staudenmayer) who definitely has that shady slick quality of a cheesy lounge lizard singer.

The absurdity of it all continues to snowball throughout the night and that goes to the individual performers. These “gals” lay it on thick and nothing is too silly or preposterous.

The actors underneath all of the make up and wigs and constant costume changes make the comedy of this parody work. From outlandish physical comedy to very subtle glances, pouts and one liners, you will find yourself letting out involuntary guffaws quite frequently throughout the night. My favorite parts were definitely the varied expressions of artistic talent. Anthony Dasilva as Miss West Coast does this outer worldly, tie dyed expressive dance from the womb till death that is so strange, but hilarious. Andrew Cuccaro’s Miss Deep South does a three voice singing extravaganza with puppets. What makes it even funnier is that she makes no attempt whatsoever at doing the ventriloquist thing. But I do have to say that, in my humble opinion, the tiara goes to Lee Price’s Miss Great Plains. Her acted out poetry recitation called “I am the Land” was nothing short of hysterical. Mr. Price’s cowgirl contestant was a riot. And just when you think you’ve had enough of her, Mr. Price surprises us with even more a little later on in the show.

The two act show runs quickly and is over before you know it, but the laughs will stay with you. The intimacy of the Playhouse’s smaller stage works wonders for this production that relies heavily on close up encounters and understated comedic moments. If you’re looking for something you’ve never seen and need a break from reality, “Pageant the Musical” just might be what you need!

“Pageant the Musical” will run through July 17. Tickets and info are available through the box office at (845) 794-1194 or online at fbplayhouse.org.