I’ve been to Garnet Health

I’ve been to Harris

I stayed at CMC

that’s down in Scranton

I’ve seen the walls of Wayne

I go by ambulance

I’ve been searching for

a cure of gold

And I’m getting old

This column is not about the ‘golden cure’ because I’m still searching for it. (I’ll keep you posted). Today’s column is rather about my first ever ambulance ride and how it went… 

The ambulance, silent of sound but not light, arrived in less than twenty minute’s time. I must confess I was looking forward to hearing a siren, but upon reflection, why be showy? It was enough that some of my neighbors saw the rig at all. 

Three Emergency Medical Technicians (EMT’s) jumped out of the vehicle and rushed to my rescue. The crew consisted of Jay, Debbie and the man who installed my gutters whose name I am embarrassed to say I forgot in all the mayhem. I can only say he’s great at both jobs, gutter install and EMT. Many Damascus Ambulance EMT’s are volunteers and therefore have main jobs from which they are called to attend all types of emergencies. 

I’m not going to get into the details of why I had to travel by ambulance because those updates can be found for free at vivaramona.com. This is rather a story of the unbelievable EMT’s who grace our county and beyond.

As I said, up until that day, I had never ridden in an ambulance before so I had no idea what to expect. The team acted fast bringing with them a folded-up chair-type-contraption meant to carry me, chariot style, down flights of stairs. I had seen this kind of rickshaw in action when my father needed it on the day he died more than two years ago.

“I can walk,” I said not wanting to jinx myself. “However, I’d like to use the bathroom first if you don’t mind.” I then quickly sequestered myself. 

I should have told these rescue workers that I used to be a quick change artist (part of being a quick changer is doing a fast business). Therefore, I would not be longer than thirty seconds. But I didn’t tell them, and like I said, I should have because when I opened the bathroom door no one was there. They were making good use of the time by clearing a path down the stairs and out the front door as well as preparing a stretcher in my front lawn with plenty of warm blankets. Talk about showy!

Once outside, I was strapped onto said stretcher as if I were going to the looney bin. At least that’s how it felt. Really the straps are meant to stabilize the patient and it’s a good thing considering, the bumpy ride. Blame it on the roads! However, in my delirium, I believe I was told that this particular transport was a rental? Subsequent rides in different vehicles were a lot less rocky. 

On the way to Wayne Memorial, my blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen levels were checked. All good. In fact, great. Oh, right. I only have cancer. Everything else is perfect.

I’ve since ridden in both Pennsylvania and Damascus Ambulance Services, but mostly with Damascus. Within all my rides, I was well taken care of and even kept company by one of the EMT’s. I guess you could say, I made a few new friends. I also found out that by subscribing to an ambulance service (right now a subscription to Damascus Ambulance Service, located at 1290 Cochecton Turnpike, Tyler Hill, PA 18469, is only $35 a year), you get perks, some financial depending on the company. 

Take the time to check out Damascus Ambulance Service at https://www.damascustwp.org/volunteer.html. Consider volunteering. It’s a heroic job. And remember, if in Damascus, when you need emergency medical services, Damascus Ambulance will be there!

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.