Many times we judge people and circumstances by what we see or hear on the surface level. We form opinions according to our perspective or experiences, or we listen to what other people have heard and say about others. But if we take a closer look, ask for God’s perspective, and dig deeper, we may find that our first impression was inaccurate.

We watched a movie recently that illustrated this. A young woman was assigned a school project to spend 20 hours with an older person and write a paper on what she learned and how it impacted her life. Her assignment came with the name of her subject, Catherine.

Catherine was in a nursing home dying of cancer, and was an extremely bitter woman who made it very clear she did not want visitors. But each time the young woman attempted to visit, the nurse coaxed her to stay and keep trying, as she saw Catherine’s need for a friend.

The young woman started asking people in the community if they knew Catherine and what was her story. What made her so bitter and mean-hearted? Everyone had the same story to tell. Catherine was known as the woman who stole her sister’s fiancée and was shunned by family, friends and community ever since. When her husband died prematurely, there was even speculation that she may have killed him.

This did not deter the young woman from attempting to befriend Catherine, and her persistence finally won out. Catherine began to open up and eventually was persuaded to share her side of the story with her new friend.

The story of the life Catherine shared was much different from what others thought. She was from an upper-class family, but her father had gambled away the family’s money and they were on the verge of losing everything. He made a deal with a wealthy man in the town. If he would share his wealth to help them get out of debt, the father would give him one of his daughters in marriage.

As the man developed a relationship with Catherine’s younger sister, Catherine began to realize some things about this man. He was an alcoholic who would fly into fits of rage and was very abusive. She tried to talk to her father about this to discourage the plan he was pushing forward. But the father would not listen.

For the love of her sweet young sister who was blind to the situation she was walking into, Catherine did the only thing she could think of to spare her. She stepped in and won the affection of the man and married him. Thus began her years of sorrow and pain, not only at the hands of a violent man who left her bruised and battered, but even more so from the years of separation from her sister whom she loved and missed with all her heart.

The young woman did her best to talk with the sister to convince her to come see Catherine before she died and extend forgiveness, and again her persistence paid off when the sister finally came to Catherine’s deathbed.

So things are not always as they seem. If we’re willing to dig deeper beneath the surface of what we see and hear, we may discover a story of great love and courage we weren’t expecting. Be willing to love unconditionally and be the friend that a hurting person needs.

Hope Ministries is a Christian counseling center, and we are here to help. If you would like to speak confidentially with someone, give us a call at 845-482-5300.