As winter approaches, be warned: Cedar Waxwings and Bohemian Waxwings, both birds found in Upstate, NY, are tipplers, known for tipping, meaning partying too hard.  

They’re gorgeous creatures –silky feathers, a jaunty little crest, the kind of bird that looks like it belongs in a French fashion magazine. But behind the glossy exterior lies a scandal: Waxwings are notorious imbibers. Not on cocktails. On berries.

Nature’s Intoxicating Supply:

Here’s how it happens. Berries ripen, overripen, and ferment. Sugar turns to alcohol. Nature’s free-of-charge brewery is open for business. In winter, food is scarce, so Waxwings gobble berries like teenagers at an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet. Unfortunately, they don’t stop when they should. They gorge until they’re stumbling, weaving, and occasionally face-planting. Yes, nature makes its own moonshine. 

The Science:

Waxwings are small, about the size of a bagel. With fast metabolisms, it doesn’t take much for them to get tipsy. A few fermented berries in, and suddenly they’re trying aerial tricks even Cirque du Soleil wouldn’t attempt.

Scientists explain that birds lack the enzymes to process alcohol quickly. Translation: one cranberry for us equals three tequila shots for them. And Waxwings don’t eat one. They eat thirty. Yes, I looked this up so you don’t have to. Also, why are scientists so calm about drunk birds? Where’s the sense of alarm?!Feathery Frat Boys:

Picture a flock of Waxwings after a berry binge. They stagger. They collapse mid-flight. They wobble across the road like freshmen on dollar beer night.

I imagine their dialogue goes like this:

“Hey Carl, these berries taste funny.”

“Shut up and eat them, Gary.”

Two minutes later, Carl flies straight into a stop sign.

Human Intervention:

A drunk Waxwing is easy prey. Sadly, they also crash into windows, cars, and occasionally… the ground. This is where humans can and perhaps should step in. If you are a suburban, urban or rural hero, you can scoop up as many floppy Waxwings as you’d like, and then tuck them into shoeboxes, laundry baskets, or whatever’s handy. A little time-out, and the birds will sober up as if nothing happened.

Can We Prevent Bird Happy Hour?:

Sort of. You can’t tell a berry not to ferment. But you can gather the community for:

• Fruit Patrols: Harvesting berries before they ferment.

• Shrub Swaps: Planting ornamental bushes that don’t lure Waxwings into bad decisions.

• Public Awareness: Teaching folks that if you see a bird weaving, give it a safe space.

Despite those efforts, Waxwings are going to party. Maybe we should just accept it. Imagine a bird bar: berry happy hour from 5 to 7, tiny stools, and one Waxwing muttering, “Hi, my name is Carl, and I can’t stop eating fermented juniper.”

Final Thoughts:

Yes, drunk Waxwings are hilarious. I chuckle every time I picture a flock trying to fly in formation but ending up in a sloppy version of interpretive dance. But it’s also a reminder. Even the most beautiful creatures overindulge. Like us, they need help. And like us, they look their silliest when they think they’re being cool. So if you ever spot a tipsy Waxwing under a tree, don’t judge. Just remember: in the grand comedy of nature, even birds have wild Saturday nights.

And yes – apparently, even birds get hangovers.

RAMONA JAN is the Founder and Director of Yarnslingers, a storytelling group that tells tales both fantastic and true. She is also the roving historian for Callicoon, NY and is often seen giving tours around town. You can email her at callicoonwalkingtours@gmail.com.