Would you talk to someone else the same way you talk to yourself? My guess is no, because you’d never be as mean to someone else as you are to yourself. The way we talk to and about ourselves is a crucial component of our health and our success toward our goals. Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” The same concept applies to our words. It’s important we choose our thoughts and words carefully. 

Most of us experience a voice in our heads that talks to us. This inner voice decides what to say through a combination of our conscious thoughts, unconscious beliefs, and biases. Our inner voice helps us move through our day and process what is happening around us. This is called self-talk.

Our self-talk can be a very positive or negative experience, depending on what the dialogue consists of. If you’re anything like me, your self-talk default falls on the negative side. As humans, we have a negativity bias, meaning we see and give more value to negative experiences over positive ones. This can perpetuate a cycle of thinking negative thoughts and speaking negative words to ourselves more frequently than positive ones. 

Since we are prone to thinking and speaking negatively, changing our self-talk to be more positive takes conscious work and effort. The benefits of curating positive self-thought are endless, including increased confidence, improved mental health, decreased stress and anxiety, improved physical health, and greater ability to adapt and change. The more frequently we speak positively to ourselves, the better our overall health will be. 

Writing or speaking affirmations is one of my favorite ways to practice positive self-talk. Normally, in a challenging situation, we’d default to saying “I can’t.” This perpetuates more negative words, which could include “I’ll never be good enough,” “I’m a failure,” or “This is too hard for me.” 

Affirmations are a chance for us to practice changing this language. Some of my favorite positive affirmations include “I am strong,” “I am powerful,” “I am capable of navigating challenges,” and “I can do anything.” You can choose whatever feels most relevant to you.

If you’ve tried affirmations in the past and haven’t had success, I’d encourage you to honestly consider how many repetitions you put in before you gave up. Back in 2017, I was working on my belief of being loveable. I wrote the affirmation “I am loved and loveable” every single day in my journal for a year. For the first half of the year, I didn’t believe it at all. As time went on, I started to believe it more and more. If I gave up because I didn’t believe it or didn’t see immediate results, I wouldn’t be able to confidently tell myself I am loved or loveable today and believe it. 

Just like building muscle, eating more protein, or any other health goal, improving our self-talk won’t happen magically or overnight. It takes time, practice, and repetitions and eventually, the work you put in in practice will translate over into the game, or in this case your normal, everyday life. Don’t give up just because it’s hard. You’ve got this.